Navigating the Chasm Where Love's in the Crossfire

When I wrote my book, one the lessons I learned that inspired me was how alike we are in our differences. A Christian would say we are Imago Dei  (the image of god concept is universal in Judaism and Islam as well), one in an Eastern religion would say we see Namaste in all, a Buddhist will say we are all Buddha and atheists will say we are all made of the same common star dust.

At the core of all these mindsets we are made of the same stuff and therefore equal. In all of these mindsets people celebrate love. They marry, they court, they reproduce, write poetry, sing songs and have ceremonies and rituals that express two people (or more) have become one in harmony.

All of that equality seems to go away in the wake of tragedy and it is getting worse in the land of social media. People who have grown up together, are related and have spent lifetimes loving will say the most horrific things through memes and repetitive talking points. We shame and never take the time to see the other side. We demand that those who do not react the same we do are less.

We vilify and we destroy and we dare to say we are better than terrorists. We spread fear and hate for those not in our tribe. We sometimes assault those in our tribes for thinking differently than the party line in whatever line we may have drawn.

We are made of the same stuff, but we do not live like the other is like us when we are put to the test.

We are always so afraid and so angry. We spread that fear throughout humanity like a virus with no antibody.

I watch helplessly in the chasm while people I love are lobbing accusations and vilification at each other. As I sit here I think of our children. I sometimes see people in horrific relationships or marriages where everything is broken, loveless and abusive and when they have kids my heart breaks because I realize that this is what they have taught their children by life example, what is acceptable under the banner of love. They endorse every day what love is not and claim it is. They certainly do not want this life for their kids, but they are so lost they continue the chain of codependency.

With every tweet, post, re blog and flame war we show our children that there is no Imago Dei, namaste, buddha or common stardust. There is only us and them and they are less. We are more. In that moment, we become what we claim to be against.

Refugees, France, Isis, racism, homelessness and on and on. These are scary things that have more nuances to resolving them than memes can do. To even hope to resolve these things, we are going to need to see each other as equals. To do any less will have us where we are now...reducing the tragedy of hurting human beings to memes to be used as tokens in our need to be right and superior.

When I speak of love, I am not speaking of woo woo where we hold hands and sing kumbaya around a fire after smoking a joint. I am speaking of something that is very difficult. The road to love is a hard road. It forces us to pause, see the other person as an equal and then try to identify or at least understand their mindset as opposed to dismissing it (and them). What I speak about love is a road that leaves us vulnerable, humble, changeable in our views and forces us to take actions for the common good as opposed to selfish interest.

It is the harder road. It is the better road. It is the only way we are getting out of this alive.

Join the lovers. We are in the chasm you created avoiding crossfire while trying to keep as many as we can from drowning. We have no weapons. But we have the strength and conviction and courage to love well even when we do not have answers that fit in a tweet.